Soul wounds need our conscious awareness, so that we want to heal and therefore we look for ways of healing. We observe how the wound affects the tissues of our soul – our thoughts and feelings. We observe that our entire constitution is not as healthy as it was.
One way not to heal is to blame the perpetrator/s. When we punish the culprit, even in thought, we poison our souls. We re-traumatise ourselves when we blame, and that is the disease of our time. A huge step towards healing was taken with the Truth & Reconciliation Commission, spear-headed by Archbishop Desmond Tutu. No blame was apportioned, no punishment, just the stating and admitting of wounds.
It is important to become aware of what we actually do individually, when we are wounded. We have no control over what comes from outside, but we can control what happens inside. When we consciously take charge of our own healing – which in other words is when we use the healing power of spirituality – then we are controlling what happens inside. Wounds tend to take on a life of their own, so we should observe ourselves carefully. A physical wound starts to heal when we start to care for it. The soul wound will heal when we care sufficiently for ourselves.
A trauma to the soul is on the same level as an earthquake. Body and soul are knocked right out of balance, and we have to re-balance ourselves. If we do not do this, the wound gets deeper and the end can even be suicide, killing the partner, or madness. Taking care of the wounded Self creates strength in the immune system of the soul.
It is also important to clearly differentiate between oneself and the perpetrator. You can’t heal the abuser by loving and forgiving. The abuser is the only one who can heal himself. By focussing on the abuser we are putting off our own healing. The same goes for asking the questions: Why did it happen? Was it my fault? All we can do here is strengthen the I AM forces. I AM my own friend. I AM the one who has control over what happens to this soul wound.
Christ always asked the question: "What do you want me to do for you?" when he was approached by the sick. Their answers always demonstrated that they trusted he had the power to heal. And they were healed. Ask your Self this question. "What do you want me to do for you?" And if in all seriousness you get the answer – "Heal me!" then you have the will to heal and you will find the means to do it.
Going back to earthquakes, the victims embody the trauma because the shaking, the sudden complete uncertainty of life itself, reverberates through body and soul. You can’t run away from an earthquake but you can run towards yourself. "Yes, this is terrible. I am wounded. So what steps do I take?"
When you lose your cool over such daily irritations as load-shedding or stupid and dangerous drivers, you weaken yourself. Calmly find a way round the problem and you strengthen the Self.
How do I get to know myself? I know what’s wrong with myself (and with everybody else too!). That’s the easy part. Now I need to get to know the good part of myself. If I hear only the critic sitting on my shoulder, I am well on the way to mental illness. What is right with myself? I need to discover this in peace, instead of making war with myself all the time.
Do I find myself in the presence of a loving me? I need a loving me to be there, if I am to heal.
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